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03/18/2006: "This past week"
music: Nothing, just silencemood: Tired but thoughtful and good
Hi everyone,
It's been about a week again since I last wrote but it really is time for an update.
You all know that Angela's aunt (Ria) has been in the hospital for somewhat longer than 2 months now and so, as you can probably imagine, it does not go well.
We are all really trying to keep hoping and to keep thinking positive thoughts but deep down I think we know Ria would need a miracle, anything short of that will make it a disaster waiting to happen.
She's just getting so frail and so unsteady and so...old. She now needs help with about everything, can't get out of bed anymore without help and her body seems to stop working piece by piece...
Obviously this is of big concern for all of the family. Especially because it is again a year with hospital visits and a downward spiral. Again of hoping and praying but in your heart knowing that it's probably all in vain. It's like we have been slammed down last year and now get a kick in the head while we are trying to crawl back up. In other words: it's just not fair. I can sometimes get so angry about what's happening...so angry about how fucked up it really is, why? Why us (again)? I only would have wanted one year in which nothing really happened but life just muddled along, just one year without big problems, without people falling ill and (god forbid) dying. It seems though those concerns are falling on deaf ears.
However... I already told you about my new job and how I love it. Not just the position I'm in but also my colleagues and (even) my manager. That was proven again this week when Claudia (my manager) just had me stunned into silence and very close to tears.
When someone touches your heart in such a basic way that it almost moves you to tears, just because it's so beautiful and powerful.
What happened was that Claudia has been to Japan for three weeks for business. It was so silent at the office with her gone...you just can't imagine the difference 
Anyway, Monday she was back at the office and she went around giving something Japanese to every member of her team. (As she always does which is so sweet in itself). Anyway, when she came into my office she had two things in her hand. She handed me my gift but then stayed where she was and didn't walk away yet. The second thing she had was a small Japanese 'bag' with signs on it and a sort of talisman (I don't really know the English or Japanese term for it) in it.
She told me that she'd bought that in a Japanese temple and that it was for Ria. It was a talisman for 'good health' and she told me to give it to Ria and make sure it was kept close to her.
And then she handed it to me and I was (and still am) stunned in the good sense.
When I told her that she answered that she felt she had to do it and that it was all she could do, so she wanted to do it as well.
It seems so simple so small but actually what she did was big. The fact that she had actually thought about me, about Ria, while being in Japan in her spare time in a temple. Hell, had not only thought about it but actually translated that into buying this 'good health' gift.The unbelievable power of that action was, I guess, so much more powerfull then the gift itself will probably ever contain.
The fact that she has never met Ria, only 'knows' her through the stories I tell, but still does this. I guess, for me, it's a symbol of humanity, of caring, of all the things that make humans humane and beautiful in their humanity. And this was not only picked up by me, but also by Angela (who has met Claudia), by Ria herself but, even more so, by Roger (Ria's youngest son). When I told him I think he was silent for about 3 minutes before being able to reply. You heard it in his voice this unbelievable feeling of 'wow' are there still people like that walking around on this earth? People who care for their fellow humans on such a basic level that they have got the feeling this is 'normal' and nothing special. That of course you do things like that.
I swear even know after the whole work week, thinking about this still gives me goosebumps and it still brings tears to my eyes.
That's why I want to say:
Thank you Claudia, for this wonderful gift you have given Ria and with that, us... It's powerful, really really powerful and I won't quickly forget it. It has give me such an amazing faith in humanity and hope in the world. That all is not lost on this earth as long as people like you, how find this so very normal, still exist here. You are one hell of a sweet lady and a very kick-ass manager. Thank you for doing this for us and I hope that I can learn a lot from you in the next months (and maybe years) at the company. That hopefully one day I will have some of your determination and strength and humanity as it's so powerful it's just unbelievably beautiful.
I know that all is not well in the world, but this little thing has just made my world a little bit brighter and more colourful than it was before.
Jacqueline