Realizations in life
music: BBC TV
mood: Alright
It's so difficult to put into words what you learn in life. I guess that is why my diary doesn't get updated too often. Not because nothing happen, on the contrary, but because I don't really know how to put it into words.
However, as I'm still trying to get my English to a higher level it might be smart to start trying. Sometimes it is good to write down feelings and thoughts you have in your head, purely to make sense of them all.
This past weekend is certainly up there with the best of them. Not just because we had lots of fun, also because I've learned a lot and it feels like I've grown just a little.
First the fun part: Helma arrived Friday evening and stayed for the night. It had been ages since we'd last met up and thus it was good to have some time to relax, chat and laugh. We went to bed late (or should I say early?) around 4:30! It was well worth it though! Good to know real friends are just there. You don't need to see each other all the time to stay friends. You just care about each other and ones you are in each others company it's great again: like you have never been apart. This was the kind of evening we had and it was fantastic! Logically speaking it should cost you energy (late to bed, short nights sleep) but the exact opposite happens: evenings/weekends like this give you energy.
Next to this I have also had some realizations which are probably going to make my life a little bit easier and more relaxed. Most of the notions have to do with work, weird enough...
1) Colleagues are colleagues so NOT friends. Sometimes, if you are lucky, they can become friends but this is not a logical second step. Thus the difference between friends and colleagues is the fact that you choose your friends but not your colleagues (as you do not choose your family). This leads to the realization that it's alright for people at work not to get along with you or like you on a deeper level, as you do not have to like them on this deeper level. The only thing necessary for a decent working relationship is that you get along as colleagues. Nothing more, nothing less. You do not have to like the way they life their life, not have to see where they are coming from, just need to get along for work's sake. Linked to this, of course, the fact that they do not need to like you or see any point in the way you life your life. As long as it doesn't interfere with the work of the both of you then this is fine.
It doesn't kill you if there are people around who do not actually like you. The world is thus that you can't be liked by everyone, that's just not how it works. If that would be how the world was then it would be a jolly dull place.
2) If colleagues/neighbours/anyone-you-know gossips/talks about you behind your back don't get upset. They talk about you because your life is so much more interesting than their own.Look at celebrities as it is the same there: negative publicity is still better than no publicity at all. Try thinking along the lines of: "wow, my life must be so interesting, that is a compliment other than anything else". It might seem to be your problem but it isn't, it is actually THEIR problem and doesn't have anything to do with you. Do not lower yourself to their standard, just get on with your life, there are a lot more important things to worry about in life!
Why do I see the above as an important realization? Because I am normally a person who cares a lot for other's people's opinions and this has influenced my life a great deal. I've grown up: I don't need to be loved/liked by all people on this planet. As long as I've got a partner who loves me and takes me for who I am and friends who love me despite my maybe strange (which is always personal and debatable) lifestyle then I've got all I need.
Well, I am a blessed person as I have got all of these things and more. I've got the most wonderful girl on this planet as my partner and I have got wonderful friends who do not just condone my lifestyle but share it as well. I want to be liked by people I want to be liked by, nothing more. Colleagues are colleagues and that's the way it should be.
(Of course there are always exceptions to the above rules: Phil fits this bill as he was first my colleague and then became my friend. However what he said is true: If a colleague becomes a friend then normally that is because no matter where you would have met you'd have become friends. The fact that you met when you were colleagues is a sidepoint not the linking factor.)
Angelasgf on 04.23.06 @ 05:59 PM CST [link] [No Comments]
