It's been a while since I have written anything about our life, so now is as good a time as ever. Life overal has been shit the last couple of weeks really. Today is one of those days too. When I called Angela while on my way from work to home she was basically sounding really depressed. She's had it. She's done with everything and just can't handle it anymore. It's too much in one go: our money problems, everything to do with dad's death, her not being able to find work (hearing that she's been out of the telecoms business too long, etc. etc.). So that pretty much made me depressed too.
However, I told her that she should reply to one of the agencies who send an email (bulk email but still) about that they will have quite some projects coming up and asking her to send her latest cv and job motivation, where you want to work, how much you want to get paid etc. I told her that she needs to reply because if you don't try you certainly won't get it. However she thinks she doesn't stand a chance anyway because she's too old and has been out of the business for too long. That projects either don't materialise at all or that they will tell her that her work experience is not up to date enough. That this whole shit with jobs will now stay with her forever, basically. And I can see that it's sorta eating her alive: she almost doesn't have any energy, she's just drained and tired, she just 'loses' hours in a day and doens't do enough work (her words). I think basically there's too much to do and to arrange and she's losing the overview. And she's mostly in this alone as I'm at work during the day and am also dead tired when I'm finally home. I told her what she always tells me: that she shouldn't think bad of herself because of this, because of the not doing enough, as she can't do anything about it. It's circumstances and it doesn't work to blame yourself for that: it only makes it worse! And with the job: if you don't shoot you will most certainly miss. I mean, I do know the feeling, but when you say: I'm too old they don't want me, then that drains out of the positive energy. You have to keep on trying even if you are sick of it.

That's basically the biggest thing of what is happening at the moment. I've got more to tell but might do that tomorrow as now it's time for shower and bed.