Wow, it has already been ten days since I have last written something in this journal. You can say: how time flies but I guess everybody already knows that. It's not much of an excuse, I know, but really: time does fly at such a high speed that I can't believe it's already Sunday evening 19:00! ;)

What has been happening in our live? On one hand a lot and on the other hand absolutely nothing. You just go with the flow, we just go with the flow. Angela is busy sorting all kinds of documents, papers, insurance etc. Everything that you have to arrange after the death of a family member and it's hard on her. She's tired a lot quicker than she normally was and other than being busy with that she doesn't do much. This is not because she doesn't have anything to do, on the contrary, she just doesn't have the energy to do it. With me having worked last week every evening a bit longer than usual that makes two of us who are totally gone when we are finally home and when we have eaten. The days fly by like that and at the end of the day there really is no energy left.
However, for myself I have tried to turn that around, at least a bit, by watching videotapes from the places where we have been. You know: those touristic tapes they sell everywhere? It's so great just watching them, as I hadn't see them for ages. Bring back good and happy memories and times!

We've also been watching the first 4 episodes of the new Doctor Who on the BBC and god, do we love it! As ST: Enterprise has now ended and will only be back in September for a short while and Stargate SG1 has come to end we, we needed another series to get hooked to! And Doctor Who definitely pulled that off! Being so young I of course have never see the older Doctor Who's but this one definitely got me hooked! Roll on Saturday evenings! :)

I've also tried to make a new start with work. Try to look at it from a different perspective: not as negative anymore but really as a project I can learn a lot from. Although I have to say that I want to learn a lot more besides work but am not doing a really good job. My Russian is basically on a next to nothing level (as I'm just too tired to do anything about that) and also my website design is on a scarily low level. Now combine that with all the people I would want to email but just don't have the time or the energy for it: I'm just one big walking disaster at the moment. But well, I guess that's normal considering the circumstances. I am trying to learn something from what is happening though, it just goes really slowly but maybe there is still hope for me. You know what my problem is: I want to do all this stuff, I want to see the world differently, I want to make a difference in my own life... but I just don't exactly know how. I don't have the energy for it and every time I think about it I just hit this big bad block of concrete. I have to get over something and I don't know how to do that!
Even writing my diary (offline) and my journal (online) I just can't seem to keep up. How in the world can I start big projects than if I even can't complete those simpel things? However: I am trying, trying to push myself at least into the simpel things of life and hope the rest will follow. This is a sort turning period in my life: knowing I want to change certain things, knowing I want to do things, just not having a handle on how to yet.

I'll get there though, even if it will take me a couple of decennia...!

Nothing else to tell you anymore at the moment. Just hope you are all well and good and thanks for all the support we are still receiving!

Hugs, Jacqueline