Well, we now know what they have done during the operation and it was not what we wanted to hear. They have only made the stoma but didn't cut away any cancer tissue. So the whole cancerous part of the bowel is still in there. Basically it was too entertwined already with all the other things you have got in that part of your body so cutting away was no option.

So well, what we are hoping for is that he will be able to eat and drink a bit more than he did now that he has got the stoma. And then he might hopefully leave the hospital. I guess we have to wait and see though. Whether he starts eating a bit again. He feels like shit and I can fully understand that after such a big operation. But I guess after hearing this news he has got even more on his mind. Angela did have a remark though: the nurse who told them this was mostly talking to Tiny and not to dad. Like she was talking about him but he could just as wel not have been in the same room. So yes, definitely a lesson to learn there. Talk to the patient as well as the family, but most of all to the patient!

No other update though, hoping he'll feel somewhat better soon. Because they will only start talking about chemo after he has recovered from the operation. From here on we don't know what's gonna happen or what we can expect. Some things we will have to wait and see: will he start feeling a bit better (as his liver is invested and so his blood is also not totally good we can only hope this), will he be able to go home. will we be able to care for him at home and the big one: how long will we still have him around. No one can answer these questions and only time will tell. We didn't visit him tonight in the end, as he was already really tired after the talk with the nurse and doesn't want to have visitors all the time. So we decided that we will go tomorrow evening. What is still clear though is that we are in for a rough ride the coming months...

Oleksandra, our Ukrainian friend, just called us to ask how Angela's dad was but also to wish us a good women's day and the best in our lives. I had heard that it was International Women's day but here in Holland you don't hear anything about that. Well, in Ukraine it's a special day and everyone has got a day off!

It was nice talking to her and also good to hear that grandma is doing ok. She still doesn't feel totally well, but it is better than it was. With Marija, our godchild everything is good too and that's nice to hear. AFter we had stopped talking to Oleksandra we called Jura, her husband, who was not in the Ukraine, but in the Czech Republic (where they live) and we talked some time with him too. He told us that he has posted a letter from Nadia, one of the kids we met in the Ukraine when we were there (Oleksandra's niece). So I am really really looking forward to the post now. When Jura was here in December I quickly bought 3 Dutch diaries, one for every kid I had had a real contact with. And I had written a personal message in there with every one of them as well, in English of course, as their Dutch is even worse than their English. So I am curiously waiting for the letter Nadia has send me!!! I have already heard that there are no pictures included yet (damn) but Jura did take a lot when they opened their presents, just still needs to transfer them to something he can send to us. So I guess that will take a while. But I am already really looking forward to the post!

I found the following on a website and am still thinking about it...just wanted to share it with you all!

A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee...

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.

She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity ... boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death,a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

I haven't yet figured out what I am. I think I come the closest to the carrot, but normally I don't look strong, so that's where it doesn't totally add up. Still, I thought this was too nice a story to not pass on. Tell me, what do you think you are?