Well, today they had the appointment with the oncologist. Dad is going to go into hospital again tomorrow as they are going to check whether inserting a stent into his bowel is going to work. IF they would get this done it might help with the problem of not being able to eat as it's clear that his bowel has indeed slibbed shut. That's probably the source of the eating (or not eating) problem. Hopefully this will work out as it would be the least invasive way to maybe solve the problem...if it doesn't work or they don't get it in for one reason or another...then he would need more major surgery.

They have talked about chemotherapy too, but it's clear that he needs to get some strength back first as he would feel even more lousy then he already does. When they start with chemo it would be pills so he would probably be able to stay at home while having that. It's not sure what kind of effect it would have exactly though, obviously we would hope that it would stop the cancer but at the moment we shouldn't keep our hopes up too much. As it does seem like it might prolong his life, but not kill the cancer altogether.

The rest of the questions of the list were not (yet) asked as it was pretty difficult already. Because it was hinted that we are looking at a pretty miserable end and maybe this is not too long away. I guess I will keep you posted as soon as I know more

It was business as usual today at work. The whole office was buzzing with activity again and we had to work as hard as ever. Everyone is back, also the people in China so we did have the work cut out for us. I liked it though (I know this sounds weird) because there's order in the chaos again. Knowing what you have to do via a standard pattern is so relaxing in a weird way!

We've watched the first episode of "The L word" and don't know what to think about it yet. It's somehow different from last season, why we don't know, but that's just the way we feel. It's good to know this is still a soapserie though, as it would be bad to have so much misery in real life. What they go through... Luckily real life is much worse even though that can hit you in the face quite badly too. I guess what we can learn from any soapserie though is that you have to value what you have, not be angry at what you don't. And saying that you only know what you lost after it's gone might be true but it's much smarter to realise what you have got BEFORE you've lost it. Treasure your blessings: your life, your friends, your relationship (if you have one), your family (if you have got a good bond with them) that's what makes life worth living. Sure, you have to work to live, but that's not the most important thing in life. And also: treasure yourself most of all. Because if you can't do that you can't treasure/love other people either. You first and foremost have to love yourself and that's not being egocentrical, that's just the way it works.

Hugs for all my friends and my mum & dad and for my best friend Kaye, she knows why. Obviously not forgetting my girl a big hug and kiss...I love you more than words can tell!

Yesterday we didn't visit dad in the end. Angela called and his girlfriend told her that she had called the GP (doctor), as dad had a bit of a fever again. The GP visited and couldn't really do much but prescribe some medicine (antibiotics). The most worrying thing is his not being able to eat enough, we heard that yesterday he only ate 1 cracker (bescuit). You can't live off that, especially not if you want to be well enough for chemo/ want to fight the cancer as long as you can. He is now getting weaker by the day and that's definitely not good :( We really hope that during the appointment today they might know what the source is of the not being able to eat. I'll keep you all posted!