Finally I've found some time today to write again. The shopping has been done (so we can eat again tonight) and the laundry is up. Rest of the day will be spent with relaxing and writing mails, maybe even working on the websites I still need to do or want to do. We will see. Right now I have got some relaxing music on and am just enjoying my weekend a bit, I guess.

Yesterday evening at the club was nice. Henk was there too and made me laugh so hard! Just making references to 'having a bit party' without anyone else knowing what he was going on about. I guess Angela made a small mistake by telling him that IF we would ever get married she would like to have him as 1 of her 2 witnesses... You should have seen his face, a smile from ear to ear...lol. And it doesn't look like he is going to forget that anytime soon. So yes, the topic did come up again but in a funny sort of way. We first want to see what's going to happen with dad. Though we never talked about it for this amount of time before so who knows... ;)

*I'm in a philosophical mood today, so beware*:

This morning when we woke up together I felt so happy. Life can easily let you down so many times (we experience that ourselves now with dad) but this morning when we were still half asleep together...it was pure heaven! Just the being together, enjoying each others warmth. Somehow I'm surprised that I still have got that even after spending 6 years together. That one glare, one touch can make me fall in love with her all over again! It's so unbelievably brilliant and so scary at the same time. Sometimes this feeling still creeps up: what have I done to deserve this wonderful woman? But with this another more sinister feeling makes itself known: what is going to ruin it all? Surely it can't stay this good forever? I always thought that if something good happened something bad would ruin it after a while and I still can't shake off that feeling. The feeling of: how long will it still last, what will come and ruin it? Because surely I don not deserve this luck and her love. Don't ask me why I feel this way it's just this little voice in my head and I don't know why it's there or how it got there. That's why I try to enjoy every day as it comes, because I shouldn't ruin it for myself. And I have to say: I'm getting better at it! Such simple things as drinking warm Anise milk together before going to sleep. Just leaning into each other, enjoying each others company and talking to each other. Or: waking up in the morning, especially during the weekend. I love that! I feel blessed that I am experiencing this, as never in my life would I have thought that I could ever be happy and content. But as I look into my girl's eyes and feel her love for me and feel my love for her... the world could stop turning and I would not notice. It is pure bliss and pure heaven and at that moment in time nothing in the world can hurt me anymore.